Hong Kong reporter’s 20kg weight-loss journey opens conversation on body image

City desk reporter Oscar Liu shares his trials and triumphs in bringing down his weight from 98kg last September to 78kg in January

I remember the day in July of last year. The excitement of an approaching three-week European trip bubbled as I bought a pair of running shoes and put them on.

But, looking down, I could not see my new footwear. My tummy was in the way.

In Spain, weeks later, I was walking up a gentle ramp in Toledo when it began to feel like I was struggling up a mountain. My lungs burned, my heart pounded and I needed to stop.

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I had to admit to myself that through my off-and-on attempts to keep fit over eight years, I was overweight, eating too much and not healthy.

I had ballooned to 98kg (216lbs), my heaviest ever and 23kg above the ideal weight of 75kg for a man of my height.

It was no consolation that I was among the majority in Hong Kong, where 54.6 per cent of the adult population is considered overweight or obese, according to the Department of Health's 2020-2022 Population Health Survey.

Men rarely admit to feeling insecure over the shape they are in, but this struggle had been the story of my life.

Sei fei jai , which literally translates to "deadly fat boy" in Cantonese, was a label that dogged me practically from the day I was born a robust 4kg and through a childhood of hurtful comments and being teased and bullied about my size.

In college and looking for a quick fix, I found a doctor who prescribed weight-loss pills that I took for nine months.

They worked, but they also left me feeling jittery and anxious all the time. I stopped taking them to avoid those side effects, and all the weight I lost returned.

Desperate, I spiralled into a destructive cycle of binge eating and vomiting, a secret shame that gnawed at my self-worth for a long time. It was more than a decade before I opened up, only to my closest friends.

My parents never seemed concerned about their younger child's size until 2016, when both were diagnosed with diabetes and began urging me to take action.

That year, I embarked on a new fitness journey, joining a CrossFit gym and taking enthusiastically to weightlifting, gymnastic movements and gruesome metabolic conditioning exercises.

My trainers were more like life coaches, providing me with a foundation for fitness for the first time in my life.

I experimented with healthier foods and different diets. The kilos fell off, my clothes felt looser, and I began feeling proud about the changes. It felt good.

But this was to unravel, too. The company I worked for closed, leaving me unemployed for a year. I was stressed, fell back on my gym sessions, and the old habits crept back in.

The weight returned. I was still on that demoralising roller-coaster ride, and it was a constant reminder of failure.

I gave up the battle of the bulge and put on a happy face, but I was not happy at all.

Then came last summer's holiday in Spain, being unable to see my shoes and puffing up that slope in Toledo.

It was time to try yet again.

Returning from Europe, I found a new trainer, started working out in the gym three times a week, taking care of my diet, tracking and logging every morsel I ate.

My trainer's mantra, that health is a lifestyle, meant that aside from exercise and watching what I ate, I also had to care about sleeping well and managing stress.

It helped to have supportive colleagues who bought takeaway lunches and kept me company in the newsroom as I had my healthy meals.

It was not easy, but I went from 98kg last September to 78kg in January, and I have managed to stay below my target weight of 83kg.

I keep receiving compliments from friends, family and colleagues who have noticed the change. They say I appear more energetic, too.

I spend my time off from work doing physical activities such as running and hiking, instead of staying home snacking on chips and cheese while watching Netflix all day.

Some days, I find myself wondering if this might be the real me, here to stay.

Yet I am so aware that the temptations of good food and wine are ever present, and these days, there is also the buzz over new diabetes wonder drugs, such as Ozempic, that result in dramatic weight loss.

They are touted as a quick fix for overweight people. But I have not forgotten my bouts of anxiety from taking weight-loss pills in college.

Dare I say that I have changed for life? I used to seek quick fixes, prioritising a changed appearance over a changed lifestyle.

I know my focus now is on gaining lasting health and a sense of control.

But learning to feel genuinely confident is still a work in progress. Admitting these insecurities leaves me feeling vulnerable, not least because society expects men to be strong when this struggle is not gender-specific.

Body image and eating issues affect many of us, women and men alike, but maybe talking about it openly is a vital step towards self-acceptance and mutual support.

What is different for me this time is that I'm committed to building a healthier, more self-compassionate version of myself.

Wish me luck as I try to stay off the roller coaster.